Let me just start by apologizing for putting this photo of new mom Alessandra Ambrosio up on my site. The fact that someone who just popped one out could look like this just proves the fact that life really isn’t fair. For Christ’s sake, look at her stomach, and legs, and thighs and every inch of her ridiculous body. I guess this is what motherhood looks like … When you have nannies, a trainer, a chef and a nutritionist.
~A
Poor BritBrit. Has it really come to this? Doing David Letterman’s Top Ten List in a bikini?! Here’s the thing, I more than anyone else know that when you’ve worked hard for the body you have, you wanna flaunt it. And granted, our little fallen country bumpkin has had two kids so her journey back to a bodacious bod couldn’t have been easy. But gurl, you made a joke out of yourself. And the thing is, had the jokes been funny, she could’ve gotten away with it. I would have let it slide. But this shit was just down right LAME and a waste of two good minutes of my life. Pleez, pleez, pleez run this shit by me first.
~A
Look at the biceps and those abs. Mmmmm. LOL! OK so clearly I have no interest in touching this with even your dicks, but I have to say, Kelly Ripa’s body is RIDIC! Let’s go over the facts - She’s 38-years-old, mother of three, works like a mad woman and somehow manages to maintain the body of a 20-year-old. How is that even possible? I’m exhausted just thinking about her life. So for the rest of us, let’s raise our diet cokes in a toast to this freakishly hot mom.
~A
How in the hell does Lindsay Lohan have money left to be jetting off to Maui for the weekend? Bitch hasn’t had any work in months, well besides that crazy Gonorrhea ad. Oops, I mean Fornarina. Pop, zit, smash, car, tweak, tan, drink, gonorrhea. I mean Fornarina. You remember that shit. Anyway, focus A, focus.
As I was saying, she ain’t gotta job. Now I don’t know about you, but when I don’t have a job, I don’t have money. It’s pretty simple. So where is the dough coming from? It’s clear that she isn’t eating that much lately. Maybe she’s saved enough on food that she can afford to travel. But if that isn’t the case, then I’m all out of guesses.
~A
I think Brit looks damn good for a woman who’s had two kids. The unrealistic body image expected in Hollywood because of the Gwyneths and Kate Hudsons is just ridiculous. Where I’m from, if you have two kids and look like this, then you’re SMOKIN’ HOT! You go Brit, get your smoke and drink on and chill in the sun. Just stay away from anymore bad boys and keep taking your meds and everything is gonna be just fine.
~A
It’s the holidays so I’m going to try and be nice… Um, well, i guess, or, what i mean is, AHHH! I can’t do it! Someone feed that bitch and revoke her tanning privileges! The only thing nice I think I could think of to say about Donatella Versace is that she’d make a great pair of boots.
~A
