Rap God

Look, I was gonna go easy on you and not to hurt your feelings
But I'm only going to get this one chance
Something's wrong, I can feel it
(For six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
Just a feeling I've got, like something's about to happen
But I don't know what

If that means what I think it means
We're in trouble, big trouble
And if he is as bananas as you say
I'm not taking any chances
You were just what the doc ordered

I'm beginning to feel like a rap God, rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slapbox, slapbox
They said I rap like a robot, so call me Rapbot

But, for me, to rap like a computer must be in my genes
I got a laptop in my back pocket
My pen'll go off when I half-cock it
Got a fat knot from that rap profit
Made a living and a killing off it
Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office
With Monica Lewinsky feeling on his nut-sack
I'm an MC still as honest
But as rude and as indecent as all hell
Syllables, skill-a-holic (kill 'em all with)
This flippity dippity-hippity hip-hop
You don't really wanna get into a pissing match
With this rappity-rap
Packing a Mac in the back of the Ac
Backpack rap crap, yap-yap, yackety-yack

And at the exact same time
I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts while I'm practicing that
I'll still be able to break a mothafuckin' table
Over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half
Only realized it was ironic
I was under Aftermath after the fact
How could I not blow?
All I do is drop F-bombs
Feel my wrath of attack
Rappers are having a rough time, period
Here's a maxipad
It's actually disastrously bad for the wack
While I'm masterfully constructing this master piece

I'm beginning to feel like a rap God, rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slapbox, slapbox
Let me show you maintaining this shit ain't that hard, that hard

Everybody want the key and the secret
To rap immortality like I have got
Well, to be truthful the blueprint's
Simply rage and youthful exuberance
Everybody loves to root for a nuisance
Hit the earth like an asteroid
Did nothing but shoot for the moon since
MC's get taken to school with this music
'Cause I use it as a vehicle to bus the rhyme
Now I lead a new school full of students

Me? I'm a product of Rakim, Lakim Shabazz, 2Pac
N.W.A, Cube, hey Doc, Ren, Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim
Inspired enough to one day grow up
Blow up and be in a position to meet Run DMC and induct them
Into the mothafuckin' Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame
Even though I'll walk in the church
And burst in a ball of flames
Only Hall of Fame I'll be inducted in
Is the alcohol of fame, on the wall of shame
You fags think it's all a game
'Til I walk a flock of flames off a plank
And, tell me what in the fuck are you thinking?

Little gay-looking boy
So gay I can barely say it with a straight face, looking boy
You're witnessing a mass-occur
Like you're watching a church gathering take place, looking boy
Oy vey, that boy's gay, that's all they say, looking boy
You get a thumbs up, pat on the back
And a way to go from your label every day, looking boy
Hey, looking boy, what you say, looking boy
I get a hell, yeah from Dre, looking boy
I'ma work for everything I have, never ask nobody for shit
Get outta my face, looking boy
Basically, boy, you're never gonna be capable
To keep it up with the same pace, looking boy

'Cause I'm beginning to feel like a rap God, rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
The way I'm racing around the track, call me Nascar, Nascar
Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park, the White Trash God
Kneel before General Zod this planet's Krypton, no Asgard, Asgard

So you be Thor and I'll be Odin
You rodent, I'm omnipotent
Let off then I'm reloading immediately
With these bombs I'm toting
And I should not be woken, I'm the walking dead
But I'm just a talking head, a zombie floating
But I got your mom deep throating

I'm out my Ramen Noodle
We have nothing in common, poodle
I'm a doberman, pinch yourself in the arm
And pay homage, pupil
It's me, my honesty's brutal, but it's honestly futile
If I don't utilize what I do though
For good at least once in a while

So I wanna make sure somewhere in this chicken scratch
I scribble and doodle enough rhymes
To maybe try to help get some people through tough times
But I gotta keep a few punchlines
Just in case, 'cause even you unsigned rappers
Are hungry looking at me like it's lunchtime
I know there was a time
Where once I was king of the underground
But I still rap like I'm on my Pharoahe Monch grind
So I crunch rhymes, but sometimes when you combine

Appeal with the skin color of mine
You get too big and here they come trying to censor you
Like that one line I said on I'm Back, from the Mathers LP
One when I tried to say I'll take seven kids from Columbine
Put 'em all in a line, add an AK-47, a revolver and a nine

See, if I get away with it now that I ain't as big as I was
But I'm morphing into an immortal, coming through the portal
You're stuck in a time warp from 2004, though
And I don't know what the fuck that you rhyme for
You're pointless as Rapunzel with fucking cornrows
You write normal? Fuck being normal

And I just bought a new raygun from the future
Just to come and shoot you
Like when Fabolous made Ray J mad
'Cause Fab said he looked like a fag at Mayweather's pad
Singing to a man while they played piano

Man, oh man, that was a 24/7 special on the cable channel
So Ray J went straight to the radio station
The very next day: Hey Fab, I'ma kill you!
Lyrics coming at you at supersonic speed (J.J. Fad)

Uh, summa-lumma, dooma-lumma, you assuming I'm a human
What I gotta do to get it through to you? I'm superhuman
Innovative and I'm made of rubber
So that anything you say is ricocheting off of me
And it'll glue to you

And I'm devastating, more than ever demonstrating
How to give a mothafuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating
Never fading, and I know the haters are forever waiting
For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating
'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated
I make elevating music, you make elevator music

Oh, he's too mainstream
Well, that's what they do when they get jealous
They confuse it
It's not hip-hop, it's pop
'Cause I found a hella way to fuse it with rock
Shock rap with Doc

Throw on Lose Yourself and make 'em lose it
I don't know how to make songs like that
I don't know what words to use
Let me know when it occurs to you
While I'm ripping any one of these verses
That versus you, it's curtains
I'm inadvertently hurting you
How many verses I gotta murder to

Prove that if you were half as nice your songs
You could sacrifice virgins too
School flunky, pill junky
But look at the accolades these skills brung me
Full of myself, but still hungry
I bully myself 'cause I make me do what I put my mind to
And I'm a million leagues above you
Ill when I speak in tongues

But it's still tongue in cheek, fuck you
I'm drunk, so Satan take the fucking wheel
I'm asleep in the front seat
Bumping Heavy D and the Boyz
Still chunky, but funky
But in my head there's something
I can feel tugging and struggling
Angels fight with devils
And here's what they want from me

They're asking me to eliminate some of the women hate
But if you take into consideration the bitter hatred I had
Then you may be a little patient
And more sympathetic to the situation
And understand the discrimination

But fuck it, life's handing you lemons
Make lemonade then, but if I can't batter the women
How the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?
Don't mistake him for Satan, it's a fatal mistake
If you think I need to be overseas
And take a vacation to trip abroad
And make her fall on her face
And don't be a retard
Be a king? Think not
Why be a king when you can be a God?