Is this 8-year-old really half naked on TV doing Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance?! And Killing it?! I’m not sure whether to stand and cheer, watch repeatedly and steal some moves, or call Brazil’s child services. I’m stumped y’all!
I feel bad for enjoying this so much but she reminds me of a baby La Pequena. Oh Ma Gawd! She’s Baby Gaga!
For those of you who might not this, there is something out there called Vajazzling. Yes bitches, Vajazzling. It’s like bedazzling but for your vajayjay. It’s for dumb gurls who have money to waste by shaving their pubes and pasting jewels to their whohas. Who does that?! And again, what’s the point?
If you shine a light on your snatch maybe it’s like a disco ball or something, but unless your suspended from a ceiling then what good is that? Call me old fashion but I like to imagine a woman’s private part looking like a venus fly trap. Not some sparkling taco shell.
OK “need” is a bit dramatic, but I’m not even joking when I say that I really really really want one of these. I know it’s probably the most ridiculous thing ever created, and the commercial only begs for the product to be slaughtered, but I want a hoodie-footie! Am I crazy? Don’t answer that…
OK, I get that people in Haiti lost everything. I understand and am all for lending a hand. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like to live through such a life-shattering experience. And yes I’ve donated all I can afford to based upon my unemployed budget.
But used yoga mats? Really?!! I’m guessing with all that’s going on, trying to perfect the downward facing dog is the last thing on these peoples minds. Am I wrong?
First Lindsay Lohan and now pole dancing. Yes bitches I’m blaming Martha Stewart for Lindsay. It was right after going on her show that Lindsay really went off the deep end and it’s all Martha’s fault.
Now she’s gone and ruined my favorite sport, pole dancing. I will never watch another pole routine without having flashes of that crusty vadge of hers dancing around in what she thinks is a sexy manner.
Ladies can we all promise to leave to poles to pros? Thanks.
What in Gawd’s name was JLo thinking?! Oh wait, she wasn’t thinking. Cuz if she was I’m guessing she wouldn’t have donned this Gawd Awful Fit on NYE.
But seriously, what was she thinking?! Here’s how I think it went down. JLo to one of her servants — “Hmmm what should I wear on New Years while I perform my ultra trashy and lame attempt at a comeback single in Nuevo Yorke? Let me try this shiny thing on. Ooooh sparkles. And my badonk, hellz ya!” Servant to JLo — “Jess JLo. Ju look muy caliente. Like un esploding stars.” JL to servant — “That’s right bitch! Now kiss my feet!”
It prolly didn’t happen exactly like that but I’m guessing it was pretty close.
I’ll tell you what, something just ain’t right with the way Dakota Fanning is growing up. Remember when she was young and still innocent? Seems like just yesterday. Clearly those days are long gone. Miss Fanning strutted her fanny out for an AIDS benefit in Santa Monica wearing something out of Shauna Sands’ closet. I got one thing to say Dakota, Bitch Pleez put some clothes on!
Oh wait, my bad, it’s actually not Dakota. It’s Miley Cyrus’ 9-year-old sister Noah Cyrus. Ok, it all makes sense now.
This shit would make for a really scary trip. What in Sesame Street hell did the Japanese do to our beloved Bert and Ernie?! They used to be cute and fuzzy with a hint of someone’s getting poked after the lights go out. Now all my muppet fantasies are out the door. Back to xtube it is. ACTUALLY, I’m in a straight porn phase. So if that’s your cup of tea, check out PornHub.com. I promise you won’t be disappointed.
OK how did I go from Sesame Street to pornography. I think I need some alone time now.
Whoever had their damn cell phone on super-vibrator mode (prolly some queen) during both of my daddies performances should be shot. Or at least have their Broadway privileges revoked. Now that would kill a Mary.
I have to hand it to daddy Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig for not going all Woody Harrelson or Brad Garrett on whoever the phone culprit was. If it was me you know there would have been a scene. And btw, who was the douche anyway?! Who does that? It’s so disrespectful not only to the actors but to the people that paid for their seats. Turn it off bitches. You can last two hours off line.
Fuck the dog! I’m gonna get one of these for me. Lawd knows I can get real lazy when I don’t have much going on. This way I hardly have to even leave my bed. What?! Don’t judge while I’m in mourning. LOL!