Ever have one of those dreams where you’re about to plummet to your death and for some reason you’re naked and people are watching and you’re so embarrassed that you wish you would just die already? Nope? Just me? Anywho, for one guy that dream was a reality. And the pictures are priceless! CLICK HERE.
~A
I’m joking! Don’t you remember the pictures of me with my adorable nephew Jarod? Anyway, I don’t have to explain myself to you. But these guys do. Listen, I think it’s great if you want to be jack asses and film it and put this “cool stuff” on the internet, but in this video there are young children in the background. And seeing someone doing a back flip off the side of a jungle gym is only going to give them bad ideas.
Damn, I guess this new job is having an effect on me. I feel more maternal each day.
~A
I’m talking to your kid by the way. Don’t get your panties all in a twist. According to some bitch doctor it’s good for them and shouldn’t be banned from school.
What the story fails to mention is that the doctor is on crack. Or so I’m guessing. Thanks Neal for the tip. And FYI, I was teased BEYOND belief growing up and let me just say that it in no way had any sort of positive impact on my life.
~A
Women are crazy! There I said it, we all have mothers and sisters so we know it’s true. And here is just more evidence to support my case. Charris Bowers (crazy name) 27-year-old female from Deltona FL (crazy place) decided that she didn’t want to perform oral sex on her husband mid-blow. So you’d think she would just spit it out. Nope, the bitch bit it! CRAZY!
When cops arrested her, she had two stories about the incident. Crazy bitch couldn’t make up her mind. What happened to just saying you have a headache and turning over?
~A
The next time some random stranger you met on the internet shows up at you door and doesn’t quite live up to all he promised, pull out one of these badboys! While embarassing the liar you can also teach them a little about the metric system. Kill two birds with one stone!
~A
This poor kid. First his parents named him Adolf Hitler and his sister Aryan Nation, but now he can’t even have a birthday cake? THIS is why our country needs to let up on us gays marrying and adopting and focus on your own kind. Your own crazy kind. This kid will undoubtedly be screwed up forever because of the crazy tree he fell from.
And seriously, look at this face! Besides saying “I will have total world domination” it also says “can i pweez have cake?”. Give him his cake damnit!
~A
You have to look on the bright side sometimes. And the brightside of EW publishing Lena Horne’s obit before she actually earned one is that the good writers are on top of who’s about to croak from “Old Hollywood”. Now, to the dumb bitch that hit that little “publish” button, GURL! What is wrong with you?! Don’t you know how tough it is to find a job right now? You must have a daddy at home.
Anyway, here at OBP, I have an obit ready as well. The headline reads “Lena Horne: Gurl Down!” But I think I’ll wait til it actually happens. I know we all want exclusives, but EW, that was a bit much.
~A
Thanks to Johnny for the tip. And a big F-U to Johnny for not warning me about that southern tool Cory. But that’s another story.
A 23-year-old man at a karaoke bar in Malaysia was beaten, stabbed and murdered after he refused to give up the mic. Is that some crazy shit or what? He must’ve been doing Whitney.
Besides the fact that people in Malaysia are just down right insane for committing homicide over something as dumb as karaoke, what the f*** is up with this idiot who refused give his voice and the bar a rest? If he was alive I would say something smart ass like “Was it worth it bitch? Was it?!” But he’s not so I won’t. Oh wait, I just did.
~A
What is it about watching people go NUTS that’s just so wonderful to witness? I hope the fact that I really got a kick out of this video doesn’t make me a bad person. HA! Anyway, check out this video and listen to the MSNBC Producer just going off on live television. Gurl down!
~A