Poor Zac Efron. First he gets cut from the remake of Footloose, then gets caught with an ear full of wax, and now the poor boy is being attacked by killer q-tips. Can’t the boy catch a break?! You know he went home and cried. At least that’s what I would have done.
This one time I was standing at the corner of Roberston and Santa Monica after buying a starbucks and was waiting for the signal to cross the street when something flew right past me. I turned to see what it was and as I did another flying object smashed into my ribs. It was a fucking egg. Can you believe that shit?! Gay-bashed in WeHo. I was so pissed and embarrassed. That’s prolly how little Zaccy felt after last night’s incident. I’m just guessin’…
And that’s NEVER a good thing. But I’ve been thinking about drinking. Here’s the thing, I haven’t had a drink since I was 22-years-old. I am very shortly coming up on six entire years without having had a drop of alcohol and my head has me thinking that it would be fun. So I figured the best remedy is to take a look at what it would really be like if I had a drink. Ummm, maybe drinking isn’t as fun as I remember. Funny yes, fun no.
It looks like Marc Ballas’ little guy was doing a little number of it’s own last night. I’m seriously hoping that it’s just a bad camera angle because I’d be really weirded out if he was turned on by little Shawn Johnson. That’s just wrong!
You see people, that’s why I can’t wear certain fabrics. For instance, when I was a kid my family always used to buy me those really tacky silk boxers around Christmas. As if wearing Santa Clause and all his reindeer around my peen wasn’t torture enough, I couldn’t ever wear those suckers without pitching a tent. There’s just something too arousing about that silky smooth texture rubbing oh so softly against the … OK I’m gonna stop right there. (Thanks to Johnny for the tip … That silky smooth, er nevermind)
My little sparrow Kellie Pickler is getting a lot of bad press right now for her hair at some janky event. But honestly, I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I love the “just been fucked” look. And no one could pull it off better than my little redneck sparrow. So back off bitches.
The SNL “Bitch Pleez” skit. It still cracks me up! Thanks to Adam who sent me a link ages ago and also to Teresa who sent me this link where I was able to grab the embedded code. You guys rock!
Of course I’m talking about Jessica and Hunter! This time those crazy booze bags headed to my favorite hiking spot in LA, Runyon Canyon. FYI, near the end of the video two hot shirtless guys make a cameo. The one with the really hot bod works out at my old gym Crunch. He is soooo beautiful. Unfortunately a few friends have told me that he knows just how beautiful he is. (Apparently he’s Simon from Real World Paris) Ugh. Oh well, I’d still hit it. (thanks to La Lopez for the tip… Just the tip gurl.)
I’m chatting right now with my Friend Gregg in San Fran and he said they just had an earthquake. It wasn’t big but it shook his entire building. Is it weird that I’m a little jealous? I sometimes enjoy them. It’s just such a huge reminder of how powerless we are as humans and clear proof of the existence of a power greater than ourselves. Even if it is just the earth spasming. It’s still greater than me. UPDATE: They’re saying it was a 4.3
I had no idea. I would assume since they’re sort of part guy part gurl (hope that’s not offensive to trannies cuz lord knows they’ll cut me) it would take an extra huge peen to satisfy but apparently I’m wrong. I guess when the “little guy” is attached to someone like Josh Duhamel it doesn’t really matter though. That’s right, thanks to OMGBlog we can now all see what makes Fergie’s body go Boom Boom Boom. And it doesn’t take much. (NSFW pics after the jump)
Just last night I was watching What Happens in Vegas for the very first time and all I could think each time Ashton made some adorable face or was on screen half naked was “fucking Demi Moore! Lucky bitch! I hate her!” He is so damn cute! And here is filming scenes for one of his upcoming movie and now all I can think is “fucking Demi Moore! Lucky bitch! I hate her!”
This is why I don’t surf. Well not really. Actually I don’t surf because I don’t know how. But apparently ex-Baywatch star and current hottie Jeremy Jackson isn’t so skilled himself. He was in Maui and had a little accident while shredding the gnar.
Come here and let me kiss it and make it all better. Oh and I’ll be sure to help with the other head injury as well. Is it bad that here he is all injured and shit and all I wanna do is make out? I didn’t think so. Hey I’ve seen the porn tape (in fact I have a copy) and the boy is PACKING!
